This reminds me of the most terrible feeling.
When your pain is tangible. You can reach out and touch it. It’s everywhere, consuming you. You don’t even realise how long it’s been eating away at your insides until you finally cave in and crumble helplessly, crashing, spiralling down, hopeless. The terrible tightening in your chest, the constriction of your lungs, the deep, shuddering breaths in as you try to hold back the inevitable- then you break. Now comes the painful, wracking sobs, screaming silently, your damaged self seeping out through the cracks that you flimsily repair each time you fall apart. But this time, those cracks have split wide open, leaving gaping holes in your being. You wail for a long time, weeping pitifully as you cry yourself a pool of self-sympathy, until you are empty, benumbed, turned inside out.